Everything's Coming Up Hummel!
by fashionknowsnogender
Summary: When Jesse St. James stumbles upon a certain cherub-faced countertenor blasting through one of Broadway's most emotional numbers, he realizes that the boy might be what Vocal Adrenaline needs to win Nationals, yet again. So, he sets his sights on the so-called 'fashionable soprano'-musically only, of course. Right?


Jesse St. James did not like his new role as official poacher of one Ms. Rachel Berry. Ms. Cochran had told him one thing when he was sent on his mission, "You saw her perform that Barbra song at their sectionals. She was amazing, and I think Vocal Adrenaline needs a female vocalist that can keep up with you, Jesse". Jesse was quick to interject that he thought her performance lack Barbra's emotional depth, but was ignored. There was one thing he learned about Rachel Berry once they began dating: she commandeered the McKinley High School April Rhodes Civic Pavilion after school from three to four thirty to practice every day after show choir was over. She would practice everything she thought she needed to be a Broadway hopeful of today: the entire songbooks of Sondheim, Andrew Llloyd Webber, Jason Robert Brown, Stephen Schwartz, and Alan Menken. She also insisted on being referred to as an ingénue, which is as pretentious as it is inaccurate. So imagine his surprise when he returned from spring break with his Vocal Adrenaline teammates to find her not onstage, belting out a sappy ballad, but an innocent-looking boy in tight plaid pants and a fitted blue dress shirt, a scarf with tiny little skulls scattered across tied loosely around his neck. He recognized the boy as the cherub-faced boy with the impressive falsetto from the Madonna number he'd seen Rachel's island of misfit toys perform with an unexpected and unexplained church choir interlude. He took a seat in the house as he heard music play from the boom box on top of the piano next to the Hummel boy.

* * *

_All that work and what did it get me_

_Why did I do it?_

_Scrapbooks full of me and the background_

* * *

Jesse recognized the tune as soon as the boy started singing-it was hard to not recognize one of Sondheim's finest works, despite Hummel having perplexingly cut the first half of the song. Jesse assumed that the first half was cut because it didn't relate to Hummel's current emotions-New Directions had a perplexing history of singing mostly songs that expressed how they were currently feeling.

* * *

_Give 'em love and what does it get ya?_

_What does it get ya?_

_One quick look as each of 'em leaves you_

_All your life and what does it get you _

_Thanks a lot and out with the garbage_

_They take bows and you're battin' zero_

* * *

If Rachel's _'Don't Rain On My Parade'_ was vocally perfect but lacking emotional depth and presence, Hummel's _'Rose's Turn'_ was the opposite. Hummel's voice was fantastic for his age, and Jesse had no doubt that with a proper coach he could go on to be one of the greats, but he'd heard better vocal performances of the song from the two revivals of _Gypsy _he'd had the privilege of seeing-Patti Lupone's and Bernadette Peters's. Jesse knew it was unfair to compare Hummel to some of the greatest performers of all time, and he knew the boy's voice would go on to do great things. Even if Kurt's performance wasn't vocally flawless, Jesse was in awe of the emotion the kid could pack into the short section of the song Jesse was hearing-it was clear he knew what the song was about at its core.

* * *

_I had a dream; I dreamed it for you, Dad_

* * *

At this line, Jesse saw a bald man of average height, sporting a pot belly, wearing too much flannel walking down the aisle in the house. He sunk down lower in his seat to avoid getting noticed.

* * *

_It wasn't for me, dad_

_And if wasn't for me, then where would you be,_

_Miss Rachel Berry?_

* * *

It was at that note that Jesse realized it-what he'd heard just then, and during the Madonna number, wasn't falsetto. He shot up in his chair when he realized the boy was a countertenor. The last countertenor Vocal Adrenaline had ever had was during Shelby's first year, back when Jesse was a seventh grader, as his show choir director had told them during one of her lessons on vocal types. His mouth salivated at the thought of swaying a cute, angel-faced countertenor to Vocal Adrenaline. This boy's voice could be just what the group needed to take their sixth consecutive national title. And with this thought, he smirked through the rest of the boy's flawless performance, quietly exiting the theatre before he heard the boy's conversation with his dad.


End file.
